Married and feel hopeless , disappointed, discouraged and sad is not what most couples have signed up when they said " yes I do." Married and deal with infidelity , loneliness, low self- esteem, lack of communication , disrespect and unhappiness is certainly not what was intended with their commitment to marriage. well , statistics show that over 50 % of marriages end in divorce today. can give you two reasons ( IMHO ) why it is evil in most marriages end in divorce. selfishness and lack of love!
In a broad sense , there are common problems in a marriage that takes marriage a happy relationship this stage unhappy marriage , such as:
Abuse (physical and emotional )
communication
battle
The involvement of one or both spouses
infidelity
money
privacy
jealousy
All the above questions can lead to an unhappy marriage . If you have been married for a while ( it does not take long ) probably came across one of these questions. Maybe you do not become unhappy with their marriage , but a brief flash of " oh no that I became " probably came to mind. If you have not met any of these obstacles marriage, but believe me you want.
We will deal with the selfishness that turns a lot of fires in and happy marriage is an unhappy marriage .
Here is the definition of selfish for the record , or spent caring only for oneself ; mainly concerned interests , benefits, welfare , etc. , regardless of others.
A selfish person is very difficult to be happy in a marriage or make a husband happy , unless you change and become less selfish during the marriage. Marriage is a commitment between two people who joined in one. You are not my things and your things, or my time and my money or your time and your money. Everything is now " ours " , once you get married. A selfish person is not willing to put the interests of their spouses , benefits and welfare first. This can lead to an unhappy marriage .
Disinterested person may be responsible for the unhappy marriage ? The answer is obviously yes . However , I think you have a much better chance of having a happy marriage instead of an unhappy marriage , as an altruistic person is more likely to evolve with your devoted husband and become one .
For a marriage to become better and go from being an unhappy marriage for a happy marriage , we need selfish spouse (s ) to see how to put their interests before the couple or , in some cases , the whole family is causing frustration , pain , disappointment and could lead to undesirable results , such as divorce.
Now we will discuss love or lack of love that makes unhappy marriages .
Here is Webster's definition of love, passionate affection for another person profoundly tender .
Here's a better definition I like and if it exists in a marriage, there is a great chance for happiness instead of an unhappy marriage , love is patient, is kind . Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and does not save when you have done wrong. Never rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the triumphs of truth. Love never gives up , never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures in all circumstances. This is the true meaning of love, according to the Bible . I guess you can not have an unhappy marriage with that kind of love .
You mean if you love your partner with this kind of love will never have problems to overcome in your marriage? Of course not ! But do you think you have a better chance of having a happy or unhappy marriage ?
So the key to being happy or work for the establishment of an unhappy marriage is less selfish and more love. Seems simple enough, but it is very difficult to do. It is difficult to teach an old dog new tricks right? WRONG!
Everyone is capable of change. This is called a commitment to do so and move on. If you can leave . If you want to stop drinking too much alcohol as possible. If you want to stop gaining weight as you can. If you want to be happy in your marriage as you can. The only difference is sometimes necessary that both spouses are willing to change for the sake of making an unhappy marriage better.
Here are 8 things or basic tips that can work to move from step to step unhappy marriage happy marriage. If you and your spouse can work towards the same goal , it would be better . If not, you make a commitment to improve things and your spouse will turn around at the end .
Fight Fair - Do not wake the things of the past that is supposed to be forgiven and forgotten . It is like pouring salt on an open wound. Do not say hurtful things about your spouse that you know cause a lot of pain, and add to the unhappiness in marriage.
Stop sweating the small stuff - Make a point to stop aggravated , frustrated and disappointed by the things that are really not that important . Ignore the little things that generally complain that gets on the skin. You know what they are.
Enjoy being close to your husband - do not disappear when her husband comes home or when they enter the room your in. stop acting like enjoy life when they are out of the house, out of town or at least not in the same room as you. Let your partner know that you appreciate when they are together .
Do not speak negatively about your spouse to others - it is very easy to share what is wrong with your spouse makes you crazy. Stop immediately. No spouse likes to talk . It's okay to make jokes about your spouse about family or friends who betrays the trust . If you have nothing good to say , say nothing.
Talk to your spouse - Not good to go for hours or days to play silence, I do not mean that you play. There is nothing gained by closing and do not talk to your spouse. It is sometimes difficult , but the only time you should not be talking about is if for some reason you're really upset and needs time to cool off. Otherwise, keep the lines of communication open. I know we do not talk sometimes gives you peace of mind. But do not settle for a temporary time of peace when you can work on fixing your problem unhappy marriage .
Acts as a married couple - not to take separate at the same place if it is really necessary cars. This is what he did before marriage. No separate vacations or sleep. You must be committed to be a partner and not married singles .
Do not take advice from the wrong people - will be many parents, friends and enemies, who will give you free advice. Be careful who you talk to, and especially that you hear. It is very difficult for a spouse to be happy in marriage knowing that you talked your marriage problems with the world. You do not want to take advice from someone who has been married three times. It is preferable to limit the circle of people who discuss their wedding and you do not always have as not to share the details. Bad people can not tell you how to fix your problem unhappy marriage
Support your spouse - Make sure you are there for your spouse, even if you do not want to be. If it is a function of the family with her parents do not stay at home. Be available to your spouse. The same goes for work or even recreational functions such as a sporting event . It is important that your partner knows that you care enough to be with them, even though they know they do not want to be individuals. Shows that it means more to you than your feelings on others.
There are many ways to take your unhappy marriage and make it better . The key to restoring your relationship is to work on being less selfish and be loved. Place the interests of your spouse in front of you and you will be happier and so will your spouse.
